by
Walter Brasch
Savannah State
University in Georgia will offer a three-credit course this summer, “The Trump
Factor in American Politics.” The professor is Dr. Robert Smith, who says the
students will read Trump’s policy statements and excerpts from Trump’s books,
and then discuss his political philosophies.
Many people may
believe this is a terrible waste of any student’s mind and tuition payments.
Some may even claim there are other courses that have higher value in the
American educational system. For example, Rutgers offers “Politicizing
Beyonce,” Skidmore College offers “The Sociology of Miley Cyrus,” the
University of Missouri offers a class to better understand Kanye West and Jay Z,
and hundreds of colleges have courses that look at the lives and views of
strange people known as philosophers.
To understand
Donald Trump, who may be the greatest political philosopher in recorded
history, is as critical to understanding America’s future as it is to
understanding the motivations and philosophies of the creature from the black
lagoon.
First, it is
important to realize that Trump has gone beyond Freud in understanding the
human mind. The father of psychoanalysis said the psyche has three parts—id,
ego, and superego. Trump added The Donald as the fourth part, one level greater
than the superego.
Milton, Locke,
and Mill believed mankind is rational and capable of great thought. Plato,
Hobbes, and Machiavelli believed mankind is selfish and incapable of rational
thought; they believed in the presence of a strong ruler to explain to the
masses how wrong they are about the world and their own despicable lives.
Trump, of course, the political genius he is, merged the two opposing
philosophies—he listens to the far-right and usually-wrong masses, tells them
what they want to hear, and then plans to subjugate them to the power and
wisdom of Trumponian Law, a variation of Bentham’s philosophy of
utilitarianism, which has humans weighing the good against the bad, and then
selecting the good. Trump, of course, believes the Greater Good, a Trump
theocracy, will always outweigh all other considerations.
Another basic
tenet in the Philosophy of Trump is that the affluent, with full access to all
parts of the elite power establishment, lure the disgruntled masses to believe
the philosopher-king, who claims to be an outsider, is one of them, thus
solidifying the political base to rule and suppress the masses by continually
flaunting his own superior knowledge of the universe.
Most post-18th
century philosophers believe ethics results from the rational mind, something
not many Fortune 500 CEOs believe. Trump, as he explained in his major
philosophical thesis, The Art of the Deal,
believes all decisions do not come from the head or the heart, or from decency
and a sense of justice, but must come from the gut. This is why he plans to
make haggis and sausage the national dish after November.
While pandering
to the mass psyche, Trump believes in the divine right of kings, of which he is
fairly sure he has been anointed by whatever god he currently has created.
Thus, we can look forward to a new age of enlightenment, under the reign of
Donald the One. There is no evidence he will select a vice-president since
kings don’t have vice-kings. They do have courtiers.
Trump’s advisor on the climate and energy is
super-conservative Rep. Kevin Cramer
(R-N.D.), who believes in fracking and doesn’t believe most scientists who say
there is climate change. For his health advisor, Trump selected Ben Carson, a
surgeon who doesn’t believe in evolution.
Sarah Palin has
already said she would not mind becoming Courtier for the Department of
Education or the Department of Energy, both of which she says she would
dismantle after playing with children and atoms. To those who don’t support the
Divine Donald, Palin says she will wreak retribution upon their souls.
Chinese
philosopher Confucius believed political unity and stability must be at the
core of any government. For most of his campaign to be king, Trump didn’t care
about unifying anything; Trump’s philosophy is to upset DesCartes. But, the
closer he gets to the coronation, the more he wants unity; his belief is that
all elements of the universe must now unify behind his wisdom and power.
Most
dictator-kings develop a powerful military to protect their kingdom’s borders
and to instill fear and compliance in their subjects. However, Trump has shown
his wisdom by calling for more military while also calling for a lesser
military, and then keep the military wondering about his sanity. His first attack
was to declare that Navy pilots confined in enemy prison camps weren’t heroes.
But, since America needs heroes, he plans to keep America in a constant state
of war, mostly to justify increased spending for private business. Just in case
the military decides that a four-year war isn’t good for anyone’s health and
safety, Trump plans to destabilize the Veterans Administration by selling it
off to private enterprise. (He also plans to sell off the national parks and
forests to private enterprise, which would allow hunters to kill off all
wolves, while neutralizing CNN’s Wolf Blitzer.)
Trump wants to
get the U.S. out of the UN and NATO, which almost every responsible politician
and military commander says would destabilize the world. Sen. John McCain, a retired
Navy captain, claims Trump is “uninformed and dangerous” when it comes to
foreign policy and national security. Sen. Lindsey Graham, a retired Air Force
colonel, says Trump’s philosophy is “gibberish.” None of this should detract
from the reality that great minds, like the alchemists who turned lead into
gold, may know more than all foreign policy experts.
Many
philosophers have expressed their belief in racial homogeneity, the need for
people to be pure and, if possible, Aryan. To protect the United States against
invasion of people who don’t have light skin and orange hair, Trump wants to
build a wall on the Mexican border, and then have Mexico pay for it. Trump
doesn’t believe the $20–$50 billion cost would upset the Mexican government,
which once owned much of the southwest until it was stolen from them. Although
the Great Wall of China was breeched by the Mongols, Hadrian’s Wall was
over-run by the barbarians from Scotland, and the Maginot Line was circumvented
by the Germans, Trump is sure his wall will keep poverty-stricken Mexicans from
invading the U.S., and stealing the remaining jobs as underpaid and exploited
maids, cooks, and gardeners. To keep out Muslims, which he is sure are the root
of all evil, he’ll nail a million slices of bacon to the wall; of course, it
may also keep Jews out of the country, but since most of his followers believe
Jews are the reason for every other problem in the country, it’s a side bonus.
To keep Hindus and Buddhists out of the U.S., he’ll build a 2,000 mile moat
filled with alligators, cattle, cowboys, and butchers. (Trump may one day
decide to build a wall separating the U.S. and Canada, something the Canadians
may be especially pleased to help build.)
Trump plans to
deport 11 million undocumented, and mostly Hispanic refugees, from the U.S. It will
cost $150–$300 billion, and destabilize millions of families, most of whom
have parents and children who work, go to school, and have helped improve the
quality of the work force. (To make sure people don’t think he’s a bigot, Trump
rounded up dozens of news cameras to record him eating an $18 taco bowl, made
by an Irish chef, for Cinco de Mayo.)
To keep the
population stable after he deports 10 percent of the country, Trump plans to
contract with private enterprise to package fresh-frozen road kill, allowing
the Southern Red Neck nation to prosper, reproduce, and own trailers.
Trump’s
brilliance in economic philosophy is best explained by the fact that since he
amassed a billion dollar fortune by selling real estate and bankrupting several
of his own businesses he is a better judge of how to spend everyone’s money.
Prof. Smith’s
students at Savannah State are fortunate to be at the forefront of studying the
life and beliefs of this emerging mega-philosopher who has already shown
greater wisdom than Socrates and Solomon, greater concern for the world than
Schweitzer and Mother Theresa, and is at least as knowledgeable of economics as
Scrooge McDuck, as competent in foreign and domestic affairs as Joe the Plumber,
and shares as much empathy for tolerance, understanding, and human relations as
Klan Grand poobah David Duke, one of his supporters.
[Dr. Brasch has covered
government and politics for more than four decades. His latest book is Fracking America, the only comprehensive overview of the history,
process, and effects of high volume horizontal fracturing. The book also looks
at numerous social, economic, and political issues, including the relationship
between the oil/gas industry and politicians.]
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